9 — A Look At One Year
I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.
— Oprah Winfrey
When I decided to uproot my life and move to the other side of the world, I never would’ve envisioned my life as it is now. As someone who is ambitious, extremely extroverted and always seeking new opportunities, my greatest weakness is the fear of failure and disappointment. This often results in the lack of self-care and balance that I need to thrive. Two years ago, I created a 5-year plan for myself, which included moving abroad for one year to further my career and gain international education experience. Of course, I was also looking forward to the perks of living in a different country and going beyond my comfort zone, but my main focus had always been about education.
Before moving to Vietnam, I had a stable career, a supportive community of friends and family, a perfect relationship with my best friend, and what I thought was a good sense of who I was and what I wanted in life. I had plans to move back after one year, get back into public education, get married, buy my mom a house and continue working towards my professional goals. And that was it. That would be the rest of my life.
But a part of me was missing something. A part of me was itching for a new adventure because I was getting restless, falling into complacency. I love to plan. I want to know where my life is headed and the best way to do that is to create a plan and stick to it. But yes, following the plan can take the excitement and joy out of life. It’s a catch-22.
Now, one year later, I have unintentionally deviated from the plan. In fact, I’ve strayed so far off that the pieces of my new life are beginning to formulate its own plan. Although I haven’t achieved many of the things I had wanted to in my one year abroad, I have accomplished things that I never even imagined was possible. I embarked on a journey that I hadn’t planned for; a journey of rediscovery, a journey that is unlocking all of my potentials.
Today is my one year anniversary. Today, I celebrate the failures and the successes, the risks and the rewards, the heartbreaks and the healing process. In reflecting on my one year in Vietnam, I want to share the five lessons I’ve learned about life.
- You’re never too old to try new things.
11 months ago, I wrote a one-month reflection of my time in Vietnam. Here is an excerpt that is still relevant:
As adventurous as I claim to be, I’m a planner at heart. I try to plan everything out to a T. I planned out my year here, I planned out the next five years, ten years and beyond. What I didn’t plan for were the sporadic “what ifs” that came to mind while living here. I am a person of many interests and I’ve recently asked myself, “why not pursue these random interests or hobbies?” This is probably the only time I can do it.
11 months later, I’m making all of the “what ifs” come true. Outside of teaching, I am continuing my private tutoring gig, something I was also doing in America. I picked up pole dancing, and the progress that I’ve made continues to stun me. I started “Stay Hydrated” to promote a positive lifestyle through embodying physical, spiritual and emotional health and well-being. Through this, I learned, and am still learning, how to run an online business. I also learned that doing inventory sucks. I joined the Merch by Amazon business, and as a seller and designer, I get the opportunity to expand my creativity. Sometimes the designs are great, other times I’m embarrassed to even submit them. I recently picked up Muay Thai, something that I’ve come to enjoy more than I thought I would. It also helps that I have an incredible trainer who is extremely detail-oriented. I’ve delved into the practice of martial arts, not only practicing 2–3 times a week, but also researching, reading and watching videos of fights. After several private training sessions, I’ve learned to appreciate this beautiful form of art.
Finally, I’m writing more. Writing has always been one of my greatest passions. My first love. This is not a new hobby, but back in America, I wasn’t making time to write. I wasn’t making time to reflect. I wasn’t making time for creativity. Now, this is one of my top priorities. With a lifestyle as chaotic as mine, I have to find time for introspection. For me, this is through writing. This is how I find myself, especially when I’m feeling lost.
2. True friendships elevate you.
Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.
— Michelle Obama
I never had a problem with making new friends. However, there was still a fear of not fitting in, not finding a community, not belonging to something. A place is just a place until you find the people that make it a home.
The friendships that I’ve made here, the community that I am a part of, is invaluable to me. And it was completely unexpected. I can honestly say that the group of friends that I’ve made will be my lifelong friends, not only because we share the same stories, we’re like-minded and we have a hell of a lot of fun together, but my “homies” in Saigon have contributed to my growth. They’ve elevated me, helped me to realize my own potential, and most importantly, they hold me accountable to my goals and myself.
Through these friendships, I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone. People come into our lives at the right time for the right reasons, everything and everyone teaches us a lesson. It doesn’t matter if I’ve known someone for 10 years or for one year. The quality of our friendship is what matters. Although I’ve only known them for a year, it feels like I’ve known them for a lifetime, and I am grateful that I’ve found such a genuine, honest and supportive group of friends in the short time that I’ve been here. It’s effortless. I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to give excuses. And I don’t have to ever fear their judgment no matter how crazy my decisions are.
To the rEaL REAL sAiGon HoMi3z, I love you guys.
3. Keep doing what you love.
Many people go their entire lives without knowing what lights their fire, what gets them excited for the day, what makes them truly happy. I am extremely lucky to have discovered my passion and continue to be in love with my art every day. Teaching will always be my number one priority, and I am so grateful for the opportunities I’ve received at my current school. When all else fails, when my insecurities kick in, the one thing I’m sure about is that I love the work that I do and I’m freaking great at it.
The best thing about my current teaching job is that I have the creative freedom to do whatever I want. I am not forced to follow a curriculum designed to prepare students to take a standardized test at the end. In my classroom, my students are designers, thinkers, creators, debaters, and leaders. We create products, write blogs, make YouTube videos, dissect music and write songs. We inquire, share ideas, debate the philosophies of life, and most importantly, we have fun.
At the end of the day, you don’t always remember the content or the lesson that was taught. You remember the teachers who made learning fun, who made an impact because of the trust that was built. For me, it is always about the relationships with my students. They might not learn everything. Hell, they barely remember what I taught them a week ago. But one thing I’m sure about is that in my classroom, we are all teachers and we are all learners, including me.
4. Act with kindness (this is more of a reminder than a lesson).
At the end of each day, I ask myself three simple questions (posted on my bedroom wall as a constant reminder).
- What am I grateful for today?
- Am I one step closer to my goals?
- Did I act with kindness?
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of life. It’s easy to go about your daily routine and forget that there is a world outside of yours with people who are less fortunate. I try to remind myself that everyone has a story and that everyone has invisible captions. The waitress serving me today could be having some personal issues at home. The student who is misbehaving might’ve lost a loved one. The douchebag at the club might be drowning in his insecurities. Everyone has wounds. Everyone has a story. So no matter what, I am intentional about being kind to others. That means checking my judgment when I feel those thoughts coming. That means being aware of my reactions and responses. I’ve been told that I’m too hiền, which translates to good-natured and gentle, too kind or too nice. But that is the core of who I am.
It doesn’t take much to be kind to people, and I think our world needs much more of that.
5. Gratitude saves lives.
I’ve written about gratitude many times, and I will continue to write about it because it has saved my life. As someone with a mental illness, I have a hard time grappling with the fact that I am enough, that I have enough. I started to practice gratitude over a year ago, and since then, it has been ingrained into my daily life. When I started to live and think in abundance, my perspective changed. Suddenly, I was happier because I was constantly focusing on the things that I do have versus the things I was lacking. I started journaling every day, writing down three things that I am grateful for, even if it’s as small as having a nice breakfast in the morning.
The thing with gratitude is that you can’t just say it or write it, you have to feel it. In order to truly live in abundance, you have to feel and believe that your life is full. My life has been a complete 180 since I’ve practiced gratitude and conscious manifestation. It’s not always easy. There are those really tough days where I can’t even think of one thing that went right. But even then, I have to. Because honestly, I am privileged enough to have everything I ever need.
My one year in Vietnam has taught me many things, but the greatest lesson it has taught me is that I am never broken. I have fallen, and I have failed. I have lost important people in my life. I have made some questionable decisions. But I am not broken. Rather, I am slowly piecing myself back together, finding new parts that make my life more beautiful. I have accepted who I was, flaws and all, and I can now move forward in building a better version of me. I have learned to love my struggle, and I have learned to embrace uncertainty.
I have learned that I am resilient.
