10 — Gratitude

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey

In my previous posts, I’ve shared how gratitude has helped me with rediscovering myself and my healing process. As this process continues, I want to really dive into what gratitude is and how powerful this practice can be.

Before I moved to Vietnam, I learned about the law of attraction and conscious manifestation, the belief that we are able to attract into our lives what we focus on in our minds. At the time, I was seeking advice from a close friend about a situation I was experiencing. She introduced to me these ideas and shared how that change in perspective turned her life around. She said it is all about the energy that you create and the filters in which you see and understand life. I even remember telling her, “wow, it’s like you have this cheat sheet to life.” But it was still a mystery and the ideas behind these beliefs were too “woo-woo” for me to accept.

Then, I made the move to Vietnam. Through my immediate interactions and connections with people, usually centered around the topic of self-development and self-improvement, the law of attraction and manifestation were ideas that persisted. I started reading more about it, listening to podcasts and watching videos about how it all worked. I realized that these ideas were not complex or improbable theories. It’s hard to believe because people don’t often see the intersection of science and spirituality. I came to the conclusion that, at the core of it all, it’s simple. It revolves around gratitude.

Simply put, gratitude is being grateful for the things that you have in your life. Gratitude is living in abundance, focusing on what you have rather than what you lack. People are constantly thinking, “ I don’t have enough money” or “I’m not successful” and “this is never going to work.” Well, if you’re telling your mind that, it will believe those thoughts and subsequently, your actions will follow. You can keep working at a goal, but if you’re clouded by negativity and doubt, you are subconsciously manifesting those negative thoughts into reality.

I had learned that in order for my mindset to truly change, I had to actually be grateful. I had to feel grateful. That was the hardest part, trying to force a feeling when your mind had been conditioned to believe something else. So, as a first step towards redirecting my thoughts, I started writing in a gratitude journal. I found that when I was writing, I was also reflecting. I noticed that my mind started to believe my words, and my heart inevitably followed. I was creating this new feeling of fullness within me. Every day, I recorded all the things that I felt blessed to have and be able to do. As people, we are so focused on what we lack and what we need more of. But the secret is within the things we already obtain. I would write things like, “I am grateful to have breakfast every morning,” and “I am grateful to have a roof over my head.” I’d also write about my blessings that come in human form. “I am grateful to have supportive people in my life, to have people hold me accountable to my goals and who are not afraid to tell me how it is, even if it’s not what I want to hear.”

I had done some of my own research on gratitude and manifestation and it wasn’t until this past year that I came across an expert who connected the intersections of science and spirituality. A researcher, lecturer, and educator, Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work focus on neuroscience, epigenetic, and quantum physics, and tying all of that together to show how all of us have the potential for greatness.

Reading Dispenza’s work and listening to his interviews have completely changed my life. The way he integrates spirituality and emotions with how our brains are wired, leading to our body’s functions and actions allowed me to understand how everything is connected in my mind; how a simple thought can create a ripple effect that becomes my action. Here is an excerpt I recorded in my notes from an interview he did with Ed Mylett (one of my favorite people to listen to):

“Most people are waiting for their life to change so they can feel gratitude, so they can feel abundance, feel whole. That’s the old model of cause and effect. If you’re living with emptiness, you’re living with lack, you’re living with pain, most people have been conditioned that something out there has to take away this emptiness or feeling inside of them…

Here’s the key: if you are able to become familiar with gratitude, become familiar with wholeness, become familiar with abundance, become familiar with freedom, and you’re able to generate those chemicals every single day, more than likely, you would be walking around feeling like your future has already happened. You would no longer be looking for it to happen. You would already feel like it has happened. Well, what is the importance of that? You’re literally becoming somebody else. You’re leaving your lack, you’re leaving your guilt, you’re leaving your emptiness behind.”

When we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the essential neurotransmitters responsible for regulating our mood and emotions. By expressing gratitude, we are biologically changing the way our brain is wired to think about our experiences. Practicing gratitude helps to strengthen these pathways and create a more positive state of mind within us. It changes the way we interpret our experiences by adjusting what we focus on.

How powerful is that? To be able to see how our emotions and thoughts are connected to our behaviors and actions scientifically. Practicing gratitude has allowed me to control my thoughts rather than letting it control me. It has allowed me to shift my energy and focus so that I can see life from a different perspective, through a more colorful lens, one with a more positive attitude despite all of its challenges. And most importantly, it has helped me with reducing anxiety and managing depressive periods.

My gratitude journal is filled with simplicity: food I’m able to consume, places I’m able to see, my workplace, my students, strangers with warm smiles, my friends, my family. I take every chance I get to feel grateful for the things I’m able to experience.

I’ll admit, it’s easier said than done, especially on those days when I’m feeling low for no specific reason. When I sink into periods of depression, it’s hard for me to think about anything positive, anything I can be grateful for. I still have really low days where I’m literally under the covers, curtains drawn, all day long. I’m not sad. I’m just numb and empty, like a body floating in space. Those are the hardest times, but the most important times to feel gratitude. Nowadays, regardless of how “off” I’m feeling, or how low my mood is, I force myself to journal about my feelings. Even just writing down all the negativities. I write out every feeling, every word, sometimes as teardrops smear the ink away. I’ve found solitude in writing. And once I’m done writing about my feelings, once I’ve released all of my negative thoughts, I am able to move forward and look ahead to the next moment with hopes that it will get better. In those moments, I am grateful for the growth I’ve made. In those moments, I am grateful for my conscious decision to continue living. And I am grateful for my pain because it was only through that pain that I was able to find strength.

Gratitude has helped me to feel fulfillment. It has helped me to remember the amazing opportunities I have, the incredible people in my life, and the things I have achieved, which I don’t recognize enough because I’m too critical of myself. Gratitude has grounded me in self-empowerment.

You know that phrase, “fake it till you make it”? I used to believe that, especially at the beginning of this journey because I didn’t know how to feel gratitude. But here’s the thing, it’s not a trick. We have so much to be grateful for. We just have to put on the right lens to see it from a different perspective.